The thought that we are nearing the "top" of these lists is surreal. When will it sink in that we will, truly, really, actually have adopted children to call our own?
This week was a huge milestone. Not just because we are now at #13 and #3, but mostly because we had the chance to really seek the Lord with some dear friends, Danny and Amy about His heart for our adoption.
We were feeling a real urgency to get on our knees and hear the Lord speak to us regarding whether we get one or two babes. Time after time, I have asked Him this question without feeling clarity! Of course, I know that the Lord will speak if we open-heartedly listen - so I wondered if I wasn't listening, or He wasn't choosing to speak.
This week He spoke. We got the assurance that He has a big plan for our family. Not only are we opening our lives to a child or children, we are opening our lives to the children of Ethiopia. It is a dream, that the Lord gave us, to someday give back to the country who gave us our child(ren). He confirmed that this week.
He also made it clear that He is not dictating whether we get one or two children. He will bless either decision. It was really helpful for Ryan to talk openly with our friends about fears of provision (financially, and culturally) for two children. Would he have what it takes to nuture two African American children - especially a young man - in this culture we live in? It is an important question. Many, many adopted children in biracial families have a hard time feeling that sense of belonging. We desperately want to provide this for our children.
The encouragement we got was that the Lord was "all for" us adopting two - there are wonderful benefits of being able to bring up biological siblings together. Our friends praying for us told us that in their spirits they had that peaceful excitement for us adopting two!
But in the end, He will give us full peace over the decision. We went in to our prayer time without peace about adopting two, and left encouraged that some of that was due to thoughts and worries that weren't from Him; and some of that may be reservation from Him that he has given us to direct us. Only Ryan and I can know which it is. So we will keep praying and see.
Whatever we do, it will be quite an adventure! Enough of just having the ticket in our pocket, we can't wait to get on the ride!
