I'm not sure if it is good or bad to add the count down clicker to my blog. On the positive side, it's fun to think about how far we have come! On the other side, it is crazy to think of how long it has taken us. Today the clicker reads one year, one month of waiting. In our case, this count down is only part of the story. It only reflects the time we have been on the waiting lists for adoption from Ethiopia.
In reality, we have been waiting to adopt since we were placed on the waiting list for China on February 27, 2007. Exactly 4 years from today. We figured it would be about a year and a half until we had our baby.
But the Lord knew that it would not be in our time, it would be in His. So four years, a transfer to adopt from Ethiopia, and one more biological child (due next month) later we are still waiting for Him to bring it to be.
We have learned so much in those four years. We've learned primarly about trusting the Lord and seeking Him for His plan for our family. Ryan has had to throw his all-comforting spreadsheet on which he set forth the timeline of our future, and trade it in for the mystery of God's timing. A good trade!!
We have learned about two vastly different countries which are similar in their population of children without families. Our hearts has expanded to appreciate the beauty of these two cultures as we also grieve over the injustices that have occurred (and continue to occur) there. We pray for these countries that previously never even crossed our minds.
We have dreamed of how the Lord can use us in the country our child will come from. Although the needs seem overwhelming - where do you begin in a country where the needs are so huge? How do you know if you are doing something that truly makes a difference - the kind of difference that is right? Not just one that makes me feel good about myself, but one that really does the best and right thing for the people.
We have questioned continuing with the adoption. From our perspective, we wonder if we are getting too old to start with another baby (that was answered when we got pregnant!). Now, with this baby coming, we have wondered if we have the capacity to give 4 kids what they need spiritually, emotionally, physically, etc.
From the child's perspective, we wonder if it would be better to invest in keeping children in Ethiopia and helping them thrive there - rather than taking one out of their homeland to live such a vastly different life in America. Our peace comes from knowing that the child we adopt will be on the path of being adopted no matter if it is us who brings them home, or another family. Essentially, we can do both, give a family to a child who needs one, and do our part of helping the children who live in Ethopia better health and well-being.
So those are my musings at the four year point. These four years have changed us and I can see how God has used this time to help us become more of who He wants me to be. And so, we continue to wait and hopefully continue to grow in everything the Lord has for us.
