I am in disbelief. For all the times I imagined finally getting to number one on the waiting lists (we are on 4), I never thought I would feel the way I do. Anna is 4 months old, a constant reminder of the grace and love of God. Having her is refreshment to my soul... and it causes my mind to wonder if God still intends for us to adopt. Finally at number one an all four lists, and just confused...
But I can feel the Lord moving in my heart. I can sense Him coming near. Is that Him I hear reminding me of the eternal blessing of children? Is that Him whispering that my family is qualified, despite my doubts? Is that Him encouraging me to trust Him with the fears and worries of what could go wrong?
I'm trying to listen.
