First blog in a long time... Jessa has been home almost 3 months now. I remember so freshly not so long ago when the only way we had to know her was a few pictures which were hung in every room of the house. I used to study those pictures and try to learn about her - try to see in to her soul. But I couldn't see it. She was a mystery. And my heart hurt waiting to know her.
Now she has been here for 10 weeks and I found myself telling someone recently that I can't imagine things going any better. She is perfectly healthy. Her growth charts testifies that she is growing so strong. Developmental assessments have shown that she is barely behind. Besides, she is so rapidly catching up that she has accomplished the goals they have set for her before their first appointment. Two weeks ago I had never seen her put anything in her mouth except her fingers. Today she sat in her highchair shoving a peanut butter sandwich in her mouth. The International Adoption Pediatric Specialist told us that she would have guessed she had been with us longer based on her body language. Bonding. Attaching. I could not have heard sweeter words. That she would trust us, feel whole with us, know that she truly belongs with us is my biggest prayer.
And I know her. She is vivacious, curious, loud, snuggly, playful, smart, ambitious, and fun. Her smile lights up the room. Her eyes are so dark, you can't see her pupils. She takes long, thoughtful gazes deep into peoples' eyes. She prefers vegetables over fruit. She sleeps on her tummy barely moving all night long. She turns her head toward every noise in the room. She grabs for worms and caterpillars, dogs and cats. Her favorite toy is a ball and will hold on to one for a long, long time. Today she started pushing herself forward on her knees - to reach a ball. She hates it when I put my finger in her mouth, but likes it when I clean out her ears. She would bounce in my arms all day, if I had the biceps for it. She likes to swing high and bounce on the trampoline. She splashes in the tub so hard that the whole bathroom floor gets wet.
Everyday with her is truly, truly.... oh, there's not a word to describe it. I am just so in love with her. I am getting in to a routine (even with homeschooling Nathan, 11 and Sarah, 7). I don't feel overwhelmed (well, there are moments when she and Anna sing me a blood-pressure raising chorus of crying because I don't have a second set of arms to take care of them both at once). Sure, I rarely leave the house and don't check facebook as often... Easy sacrifices for getting to live my blessed life.
Sure, I know that this is just the beginning and there may be challenges ahead as we navigate the path of raising our daughter whose beginning was marked by injustice. I am hopeful that the Lord will show us how to get through that when or if it comes. But for now, I am soaking in the peace and joy of this season with no fear of what may be ahead. Tonight as I tucked each of my four heart-melters in to bed I am overwhelmed with joy. I couldn't hold back the tears - I'm so thankful to the Lord for giving them to me and for the blessing of this sweet transition to forever with Jessa.
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