I Love My Husband! - how Ryan was able to get an update from the Embassy!

Just hours after posting the previous update - the hardest one I have written so far - I woke up. It was 3:30 AM. The Ipad was on my bedside table (it's new resting place for charging during the night), so I could check for emails from the Embassy. Addis Ababa is 10 hours ahead, so they come in the middle of the night.

My inbox had 3 junk emails.

Ryan woke up and I told him that there was nothing. I couldn't tell, but I thought he was going to go back to sleep for a few minutes, but then he threw back the covers and got up. On a mission.

He went to his office and called, faxed, and emailed the Embassy until he heard back from them!!! At 5:30 he got the email (and called me to read it to me). I've never been so happy at 5:30AM.

Their email explained that the delay in hearing from them was that they were trying to complete the interview with the police officer who found her in Gambella Region. Coincidentally, it was completed just before they responded to Ryan's battery of requests!

So, this is big progress. We don't know what will happen next or when, but it is so nice to have relief from the fear and sadness that I have been battling hard for the last 2 weeks.

Hooray for my husband who is really good at making things happen!! THANKS, BABE!!

Facts verses Truth - my thoughts in the silence of the long wait for Sitota

Tears in my eyes, lumps in my throat, overwhelming moments of fear, heaviness of longing to hold my baby again forever... these are familiar feelings to me. This is the hardest thing I have ever gone through.

Fact: We have not heard anything from the Embassy in 4 weeks. They have not responded to 3 emails. No one can explain it.

"I fear that her journey won't end up in my arms." -these words, written by another adoptive mom, sank deep in to my heart because this is also my fear.

But I know The Truth in the face of the facts.

Scriptures are starting to cover my cupboard doors. Promises of God's love, goodness, faithfulness, strength to the weary, help to those who look to Him. I started collecting them the week before our case was submitted to the US Embassy. The first one the Lord gave me to up was "I weep with sorrow, comfort me with your word." Psalm 119:28. They are daily reminders of how grateful I am to know the God who formed the heavens and the earth.

I have amazing friends, family, and community of adoptive families who share this journey with me bringing me life-giving encouragement and support as well as endless prayers. I can't imagine how hard it would be without them. The Lord has used them over and over. But, I do not have words to describe the comfort and hope that has come in the quiet of my own heart, straight from the Lord. He is so real to me now. More than ever. And if I didn't have to go through the sorrow, I might have missed this sweet time with the Comforter.

I want to see Him in every day of this journey. I want to let Him have control. I want to stay right in His arms, head on His chest, letting Him wipe away my tears so I can see more clearly who He is.

Today I am reminded that the TRUTH is that God knows that every delay and disruption of this stunning journey causes my heart to know emptiness and pain. But the pain is not the end, the adoption is not even the end. In this pain, I am living with a need for Him like never before. That makes my faith alive and real. That makes me love Him more than ever.

From another blog: "There are always stories to be had, friends. He is always weaving a story — of beauty. And glory. His glory. The best kind of glory. In every seeming setback, there is glory to be had. And when our hearts receive even just one touch from the Father who seeks to captivate His children, the byproduct is radiant." (www.everybitterthingissweet.com)

Because of the depth of love I have for this baby, this wait the hardest thing I have ever gone through. Because of God's faithfulness, this the most in love with Him I have ever been. He is captivating me, His very own adopted daughter.

Praying for Sitota's Birth Parents

Worship at church these days is absolutely refreshing and hope-bringing. Ryan and I both worship with thoughts of our sweet baby running through our minds constantly. It's our special time to lay it all before the Lord (again) while His Spirit fills us up with renewed faith that He is at work for us. Today during worship, the Lord prompted me to pray for Sitota's birth mom and dad in a new way... Since she will likely never have the blessing of meeting them on Earth, I found myself praying that they will know Jesus and have a beautiful reunion in Heaven someday where she will get to know the whole story of the beginning of her life, her biological roots - and finally have the chance to look into the eyes of the ones who physically resemble her the most. I want that for her very much. And I think the Lord does, too. Then we'll all spend the rest of eternity with our eyes on Jesus! Of course, that tops it all.

Hardest Week Yet - Trouble Applying for Sitota's Visa (BUT IT IS SUBMITTED!)

Last week was hard. It was one of those weeks you fear happening the most as you tiptoe through the adoption process. For two weeks our agency thought we had a good chance of having all the paperwork in order to be submitted to the US EMbassy for Sitota's visa. On May 9th (3 weeks after our court approval) all they needed was her passport and to get her medical examination. Our agency can only submit visa applications on Wednesdays, so if if we miss one Wednesday, we have to wait until the next.

Waiting for Wednesdays is really hard. Many families "waiting for Wednesday" have been known to check their email at 2, 3, 4 AM - when it is mid-day in Ethiopia - looking for the email from the Embassy.

The next Wednesday, May 16th, rolled around and our agency didn't get her passport. Tick. Tick. Tick. The next Wednesady came and was got THE EMAIL...

It said that they weren't going to submit the baby's visa application again. Although all the passport had come, something with another document didn't look right and they wanted to get it corrected. They did not have much information for us at all - there wasn't even clarity on which document was problematic. At first I was livid - they had had this paperwork for months and were questioning it now? How long would it take to fix the problem? Why didn't they do this before? No one had mentioned any problematic paperwork before. Why now? Why the day we were supposed to be submitted to Embassy? Why this Wednesday?

But then as Ryan and I talked about, we got deeply worried. Could this problem jeopardize the adoption? Was the problem more than just a type-o? Were there problems with her case that would make her ineligible for adoption (even typing those words is excruiating)? Could this be the beginning of the unravelling of the whole thing? We had no answers at first and so little information that the "worst case scenario" was haunting us. Here we are so close to finally bringing her home and something is coming up?

The night we found out that we weren't submitted to Embassy and the paperwork wasn't okay, I broke down. All I could think about was how close we were. It was the day we were supposed to be sighing in relief that everything was complete and the Visa was coming. Instead, I was consumed with fear and crying out to the Lord to help us.

The hardest days were the first two when we didn't have a lot of information. We spent hours on the phone with our agency getting more answers, other agencies asking for their professional experience with this, etc. Our agency had to talk with the staff in Ethiopia to find out exactly what their concern was. Communicating across time zones isn't quick. Ryan was relentless in getting his mind around what was going on. I, meanwhile, spent many hours crying, praying and reading the word for encouragement. It was an emotionally exhausting week.

After we felt like we had gotten as much information as we could (our agnecy assured us that it is a clerical error and that they have been trying to get it changed by the Ethiopian Regional MOWA staff for weeks), we had to make a decision - either wait for the agency staff in Ethiopia to try to fix the document or submit Sitota's visa application to the Embassy with all the paperwork left "as is". And in the end, we decided to do just that. For us, we felt much more comfortable with the US Embassy looking in to the document error and seeking it's correction, than with the documents being changed by someone else.

So, the good news is that we have been submitted (6 weeks after our court approval)!! How long it will take is unknown. One agency we spoke with has had all but one of their cases where there are no birth parents sent to a higher authority (USCIS in Nairobi) to be processed. Our agency has told us that their abandonment cases have been clearing Embassy faster. So, once again, the Lord is Author of our lives and we are on the edge of our seats to find out how He has written the end of this chapter.

We are hoping and praying that our baby goes through quickly, of course.

We won't stop fighting for Sitota! Our love for her just keeps growing deeper.

Ryan Ryan Jr. - Getting Sitota's Birth Certificate

Good news! Sitota has a new birth certificate. It has Ryan and my name it! It's really happening. She really is ours. Funny thing is they give the children the first and last name of the adoptive father, so her official name, for now is Sitota Ryan Ryan!! Little Jr.! Still waiting for a few more things before we can apply for the Visa. Should be soon.

She's All Ours! - Approval by the Ethiopian Court

We had our court appointment on Wednesday and it went off without a hitch - except forgetting our passports and our paperwork being misplaced for a few hours!... Minor complications to an otherwise perfect day when Jessica Rachel Sitota Ryan became our daughter! On April 18th at 11AM in Addis Ababa, Ethiopia, Judge Rahila declared that Sitota is ours!! There are no words for the deep blessing we felt when she said those words. It was very emotional and beautiful. Our Trip to Ethiopia was life-changing. Sitota is so small and healthy, beautiful and precious. Holding her in my arms was heaven. The city of Addis is like nothing I've ever seen before. Even looking at the pictures, we don't feel like we can really communicate what it was like there. Beautiful souls living in a very poor, poor city.

We loved being at the care center not only snuggling with our baby, but playing with the other kids, too. I'm sure you can imagine how much Sarah and Nathan loved that part. The kids adored them!! From here, we wait for the Lord to get her paperwork processed through the US Embassy. Once we cross that hurdle, Ryan and I will return to Ethiopia to bring her home.

And every day between now and then I am praying for the Lord's protection over her. Every day I wonder what we are missing - the smiles, the spitting up, the kicking and playing. I definitely need God's protection over my heart as I wait patiently for Him to move this last mountain range that stands between us and our baby girl. He is faithful, loving, and mighty to save.

COURT DATE!!!!

My heart could burst!! I had only managed to hope that our court date would be in May, but it has been set for April 18th! That means that we get to meet our baby in one month. We will appear to the Ethiopian court and once we "pass" we will have our adoption decree which makes her legally our daughter (she is already our daughter at heart)!

This is huge. In one month. One month. ONE MONTH. We will meet and adopt our baby. One month. After all these years. Thank you, Lord. Your timing is perfect.